Struggling with the word Disease

My partner of 3 years is an alcoholic. I’ve tried everything I can do to help him quit drinking, but found out 2 weeks ago that he’d just been hiding it better. He’s in rehab now, and I’ve been going to meetings. I’ve been having a hard time with the disease aspect of alcoholism. At one of my meetings someone gave me a “letter from an alcoholic” and it said something like “you wouldn’t get mad at me for having cancer, or diabetes”. And to be honest I just can’t buy that. I understand everything about how alcohol changes your brain chemistry, but picking that bottle up IS a choice. Not making efforts to stop IS a choice. Cancer is not. For me it feels like calling it a disease is just another way of not taking full accountability. Almost like there should be a caveat like “a disease I gave myself” or something. I’m also working through a lot of resentment, so maybe this feeling is part of that. Anyway, would love to hear how others feel about this part of the journey. Thank you all for listening.