I'm struggling to get a G.E.D.

Please take caution when reading this, as this is going to be a heavy read.

My education was outright stunted and robbed, I have Asperger's and I also believe I had some developmental issues growing up, as I was born a month early (or so I was told), and made to think by my father that I was "mentally re*arded".

As such, I was put through special education throughout my schooling in the rural Midwest during all of elementary and most of middle school, however, I never learned anything. A problem in the schools I went to was that "Special Ed" was a room where we just mostly watched TV & played games while being drugged up on "ADHD pills" to sit still, and that's what 95% of my education was.

And while it's too much to get into for this post, I've had very incompetent teachers.

During school I would act up & make an ass out of myself because at first, everyone was laughing with me, I thought people finally liked me. But as you can imagine the “mentally inclined kid” who constantly disrupted class was not popular for long. I was pulled from 8th grade and never got to continue my education, I was never given the opportunity for high school partially, this was due to truancy laws, where one of my teachers who was also abusing me threatened to call the police.

They expected a stubborn, autistic 14-year-old child to act like an adult. I understand I acted like a jackass during my edgy & awkward teenage years, who hasn't? But I didn't know any better. The faculty did and didn't care.

Now, I'm 23, and I want to get my G.E.D., but I can't do math outside of basic, I have a mental breakdown whenever I try. The other G.E.D. test subjects (RLA, Science & Social Studies) don't seem like they'll be a problem, as I've gone out of my way over the last few years to greatly improve my English (which is why I feel the need to apologize for how this post is written, I'm very tired). and the others seem straightforward.

However, I can't do the math, as tutors are $700 a month (minimum), G.E.D. test study kits are now expensive and I don't have a job.

Not only do I want a better life for myself, but I also finally have a positive role model in my life, and that person is an Ivy League scholar, I want to show them that I'm making an effort.