Life continues to haunt me

Feeling unloved, few months ago my partner decided to up and leave after she got the ick from embarrassing me at a party and I had a breakdown of sadness. She said "she wasn't ready for a relationship" I'm not dumb I know what that means.

She just wanted out of the relationship to see new people instead of trying to fix what we have. So it's no longer my problem but I can't help but feel so empty inside. I really did love that women but I've since learned that women are loyal to their feelings alot of the time so theirs nothing I could have done she was already out the door just looking for an excuse to leave. This was a very childish way to end the relationship imo but it's how it went.

I now feel like I don't wanna date again cause everytime I express my thoughts it gets used against me for some reason or another. Why do women and men do this is ts fucking gross.

I'm pretty young at 26 but I'm really starting to hate the playbook of life. I'm in therapy to try to understand these feelings and emotions but the pain of that and other things still haunts my mind. .