Why can't I just guymode already??

My mother's boyfriend looks exactly like how I wish I looked he's 5'5" too so I'm not that far off from him height wise but every time I see him I wanna kill myself because I know Iwnbam no matter how much I gymmaxx or even get haircuts I always just look like a butch lesbian. I can't even work out today because I got horribly sick fmstl